Guillermo del Toro with Oscars for The Shape of Water

The Oscars 2018: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the winner of them all?

And here we are, a week after the Academy Awards drama and… everything’s the same. There’s nobody much concerned about the winners, the gala is not as memorable as it might have, most people weren’t even bothered by its existence. Well, to be honest, I’m a little disappointed by spending my night watching it. This week would go much smoother if I didn’t. Most of the Internet already discussed everything there is, but being me, I would like to put my own two pennies worth.

First of all, I hoped I had been wrong about Kimmel and his lousy hosting but sadly it was bad (like BAD bad). Ever since Neil Patrick Harris (who wasn’t kickass good but good nonetheless), Oscars gala is more and more boring. And this year it was ruthlessly pathetic. I can’t put my finger on a joke that was actually enjoyable. The entrance monologue made me facepalming and checking whether there was anything on my phone.

It was more or less “ok” while describing the Oscar statue but with every word, Kimmel was taking the show deeper and deeper into the rift. I am offended by that “The world is watching us, we need to set an example, and the truth is if we stop sexual harassment in workplace, (…) women will have to deal with harassment in all the other place they go”. I have a little different point of view and I believe not just me hearing the response from the audience of Dolby Theatre. 

And it didn’t get any better.

Jimmy Kimmel at the 90th Academy Awards

The idea of the award for the shortest speech was fun, but since it was a) a bad award and b) not really reminded about, the idea went to shit quickly. For those who didn’t watch – it was a skijet. Sam Rockwell, being the first receiver of the evening, did mention it in a nice way. But every other person who said something about it was not so eager. The best part of it was Helen Mirren. Oh, this woman is fire.

Another genius idea – going to thank people in a cinema across the street was almost exactly what Kimmel did last time. Only this year it was celebrities who went to people rather than people go into Dolby Theatre. I wasn’t original at all and, to be honest, it was quite embarrassing to watch. The only bright moment of this was seeing Ansel Elgort and Armie Hammer shooting people with hot-dog bazookas. I am serious. It ended up as giving snacks to people. The sole “thanks” idea what it was initially about, got lost in a huge commotion. People seeing The Wrinkle in Time had an extraordinary night, though. Afterall, shaking hands with Gal Gadot or Mark Hamill is indeed one of the dreams we all share.

The last part was – the meaning of the event. Or rather lack of it. After so many protests about using women in show business, after so many accusations in recent months, it became a simple checkbox on Oscars to-do list. It was mentioned once in the beginning and then… Silence. Oh, yeah, we had three women who accused Weinstein talking about it, but I only realised that after the gala. It was faded and it felt so unimportant. They should’ve screamed and made a point. Where was it? It was quieted down. They said nothing why the forever tradition of last year’s best actor giving the award to the best actress was not happening this year. They said nothing about James Franco missing the gala (even though The Disaster Artist had one nomination). Nothing. It felt like an internal issue and like the celebrities wanted to deal with it themselves. No public involved. And this pissed me off. Because rape is not only L.A. problem. It’s worldwide. And it shouldn’t be quieted down. Last year with the Trump drama, there was a lot of talks, as far as I remember. There was plenty about racism, immigrants and that most of Hollywood was not born in the US. And where was that sort of behaviour now?

So, Kimmel leading was lousy. I don’t know who wrote the script but I would be actually ashamed if I was advertising it with my own face. What more can I say? None of the presenters actually had something meaningful or emotional to say. Most of the speeches came and went without notice. I don’t even remember them. Maybe except for one, where two beautiful women came on the stage in… fluffy slippers.

Tiffany Haddish and Maya Rudolph ruled the stage talking about how uncomfortable high heels are. It was so minor thing but it was so right. It was one of the most feminist parts of the show and it had a glow! The women known mostly for their comedian roles made a more charismatic statement than any other. Including “so black” Oscars joke was smart and done with grace and humour that it didn’t feel embarrassing at all.

Another such charismatic statement was at the very end of the Oscars. Frances McDormand, after scoring every award for her role in Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, gave this massive speech, not even trying to hide her emotions. Her hyperventilating and happiness were everything at this moment. She was standing there, in this strange dress, being proud, being happy and brave, because she’s a woman and she wanted women to be noticed. That was damn powerful. This was so emotional and so beautiful, I wanted to hug her at that moment.

Frances McDormand at The 90th Academy Awards 2018
No matter the looks if you have so much charisma

And that was basically it, in the matter of importance or fun of the gala. The rest were emotions. The one I won’t forget was remarkable Margot Robbie being so happy about Alison Janney’s score. And then Alison saying “I did it all by myself”. Then I have to mention Gary Oldman who said to his 99-year-young mum onstage “put the kettle on, I’m bringing Oscar”. It tore my heart in half and all the rainbows started pouring out of there. He was uber-amazing and even though he knew he would have won it, he still tried to play it with British politeness. Can he be my uncle or something?

Moreover, I have to mention the tired look of Richard Deakins while receiving the award after 14 nominations. He didn’t even prepare the speech although his win was very probable. I enjoyed the applause he got at the Oscar party I was. Everyone was counting on him and after all, he damn earned it. Not even mentioning the previous nominations, Blade Runner was a masterpiece.

About the actual winners… Well, there were only two surprises, in my case. First – Jordan Peele with his script. I still don’t understand why especially since there was McDonagh with incredible Billboards one (and no nomination for directing). But well, Academy proved they can still surprise. And the second one: best picture.

I don’t know who actually expected that, but definitely no one in my circle of friends. People were literally so sure Three Billboards would win, they weren’t even waiting for that. Me neither, actually. It was unbelievable, and definitely not only to the public. The Shape of Water won the best picture. A love story, a fairytale. Woah. Well, I have to repeat what I said on Facebook a few hours after that happened: this year it was La La Land, actually.

Remembering this strong battle between La La Land and Moonlight last year, the story about important matters won the best picture (after that crushing mistake). This year though, they gave their votes to the dreamland of Guillermo del Toro. And to be honest, I’m not even angry. Firstly because it gave me at least a little shock, and secondly – it wasn’t a bad film! It was great, actually. It was a very hard choice, really, but not a bad one. Seeing del Toro’s face of a happy child afterwards was worth it.

Guillermo del Toro winning best picture Oscar for The Shape of Water
Happy kid from Mexico

And that was actually it. I couldn’t imagine worse gala. Or they invite Kimmel to host again. Dear Thor, save us.

Sufjan Stevens performing Mystery of Love at The 90th Academy Awards 2018
He’s beauty, he’s grace, he’s got fish below his face
James Ivory at The 90th Academy Awards 2018
Timothee Chalamet will be either a fashion icon or the fashion itself. Ten out of ten, best male outfit.

 

Armie Hammer and Timothee Chalamet, the 90th Academy Awards 2018
I hope each of us will have a friend like Armie

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